Dumber-er And Awesomer: Furious 7, Reviewed

1. Furious 7 has a scene I have been waiting a long, long time to see in a movie, and it happens twice. Two cars facing each other from opposite sides of the street. Two men, nostrils flaring, glowering, revving their engines, respective erect penises in hand. They shift into gear. They floor it. They speed directly… » 4/01/15 2:00pm 4/01/15 2:00pm

Age Ain't Nothing But A Bummer: While We're Young, Reviewed

1. Of all the criticisms my fellow Gen-Xers have of Millennials, there isn't one that cracks me up more than "they're too self-involved." This is freaking rich, coming from us. Being self-involved was our thing. We were the ones who were obsessed with authenticity, and "reality," and not "selling out," even though… » 3/26/15 5:10pm 3/26/15 5:10pm

Sean Penn Is Way Too Weird To Be Your Next Great Action Hero

If nothing else, The Gunman gives us a scene in which Sean Penn goes surfing. Of all the mysteries of centuries of American film, one that has always vexed me in particular is, "How did the doof who played Spicoli turn into that guy?" If you haven't watched Fast Times at Ridgemont High recently—and the movie is… » 3/19/15 12:14pm 3/19/15 12:14pm

Like Short Circuit For Knuckleheads: Chappie, Reviewed

1. District 9, the 2009 full-length debut from South African writer-director Neill Blomkamp, gave us an entirely new way of thinking about science-fiction movies. I wasn't as crazy about it as most other critics, but you couldn't deny that it was trying something different, creating an alternate universe and… » 3/06/15 4:02pm 3/06/15 4:02pm

Whip It Good: Fifty Shades of Grey, Reviewed

1. I've never read the book Fifty Shades of Grey, but I'm fairly certain this film is the best possible adaptation of the material. From the looks of it, the 2011 erotica sensation seems not only to lack any semblance of a story, but even the backbone of one—as if author E.L. James never really thought to include… » 2/13/15 1:15pm 2/13/15 1:15pm

Dodge This: The Lousy, Endless Jupiter Ascending, Reviewed

1. Why did The Matrix work? For all its pseudo-philosophy and whiz-bang effects, for all its blue-pill-red-pill This is all an illusion sci-fi wonkery, may I humbly suggest that it was Keanu Reeves all along? Without him, you have a fun, expansive vision that may have never escaped its creators' heads; it's Reeves… » 2/06/15 10:40am 2/06/15 10:40am

Johnny Depp's Weird, Mirthless Waterloo: Mortdecai, Reviewed

1. Not everything about Mortdecai is horrible. Let's see. Paul Bettany has a few charming asides as (ugh) Jock Strapp, a working-class Englishman brawler sworn to eternal and inexplicable fealty to a simpering idiot. There's a flashback scene where Ewan McGregor looks just like he did in Shallow Grave, which was a… » 1/23/15 2:15pm 1/23/15 2:15pm

The Laptop Of Thor: Blackhat, Reviewed

1. Blackhat plays like a parody of a Michael Mann movie, which is depressing, given that it is a Michael Mann movie. He's one of my favorite filmmakers, with such a unique, distinct, relentlessly focused vision that you forgive all his shortcomings, from the deadly self-seriousness to the existence of exactly one… » 1/16/15 4:15pm 1/16/15 4:15pm

The Grierson & Leitch 2015 Oscar-Nomination Predictions

Early tomorrow morning, nominations for the 87th Academy Awards will be announced. Now, lately, film writers have divided into two factions: You either hate horse races like this, or you're obsessed with them. This snapped into focus recently when the National Society of Film Critics chose Jean Luc-Godard's … » 1/14/15 4:35pm 1/14/15 4:35pm

An Interview With Jongin Craggs, Tommy's Mom

A couple of years ago, Tommy's mom, Jongin Craggs, emailed me out of the blue. Ms. Craggs, who lives in Champaign, Illinois, where Tommy's dad works as a math professor, told me that she read all the things I wrote and asked if I could maybe get Tommy to write a little bit more often; if it weren't for my occasional… » 1/09/15 3:21pm 1/09/15 3:21pm

A Nation Of Echo Chambers: How The Internet Closed Off The World 

Will Leitch, senior writer at Sports On Earth, culture writer for Bloomberg Politics, contributing editor at New York magazine and founder of Deadspin, is doing his yearly fill-in for Drew Magary on today's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo. (Here is 2011's version, and here's 2012's and here's 2013's.)… » 12/25/14 2:05pm 12/25/14 2:05pm

Grierson & Leitch's 2014 In Review: The Best Forgotten Performances

Yes, most people have already written their Top 10 movie lists for 2014. We're saving ours for the last week of the year, but while we wait for this full, rich, and weird movie year to end, we're going to start looking back at certain highlights. Today, it's our favorite forgotten performances. Tomorrow: the… » 12/24/14 11:40am 12/24/14 11:40am

Sony Totally Caved On The Interview, And Now We're All Screwed

Monday night, Seth Rogen was a guest during the final week of The Colbert Report. Ordinarily, he isn't much of a "get," in talk-show parlance—he's funny, sure, but he always makes the rounds when he has a new movie, no big deal. But this was the first (and probably only) time that his appearance had legitimate news… » 12/18/14 1:34pm 12/18/14 1:34pm